i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
