oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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