i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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