I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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