? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
