Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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