I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
