brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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