Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize