No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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