Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
