So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
