Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
