she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
