"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No subtext here. People are naked.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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