then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
