I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
