it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
