Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
