I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
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