I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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