You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
