You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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