I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
