And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
