he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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