official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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