someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
