I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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