you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
