Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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