somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
