i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
