Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
