Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
