Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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