i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
