I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
