I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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