i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
