I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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