Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
