Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Randomize
