I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
