every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
