Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
