Say something about gay babies.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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