U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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