I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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