just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
