But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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