Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
