You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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