No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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