The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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