How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
