you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
