That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
