if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
