HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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