this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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