do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
