hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I party with great urgency now.
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