I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
