is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
