Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
there's paper in my vomit.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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