Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
