I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
organizing the empties. That sober.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
